Beta Fish $3.99...Joy to my boy...PRICELESS!!!

We had an absolutely wonderful Valentine's Day! As I mentioned before, it started with Krispy Kreme and just kept going from there. We had a lovely lunch out. We partook of a Catfish and Shrimp buffet....yuuummmm! Then, we went window shopping at Home Depot and Lowes-two of my all time favorite stores. We also stopped by Petco to pick up some essential items. There was one item that was not on the list, but ended up being essential. Essential to one little boy's well being. I'm talking (of course) about the infamous Beta Fish in a cup. Yep, brown eyes just had to have one.

Now Big Brother, (Blue-eyes) has a Beta fish in a tank, in his room. He has had his fish for years. Brown-eyes had always been content to just look at it and then go on about his day...until recently. Recently, we have been reading "The Cat in the Hat" book every night at bed time. He loves, loves, loves this book. (Who doesn't?!! It's a classic...but I digress.) Since the nightly readings of Dr. Seuss started, he has wanted his own fish...in a bowl...or in a teapot...but mainly just his OWN fish to carry around.



So, on Saturday, when those sweet brown eyes looked up at all of us and he said, "I could get THIS fish....in a bowl." We caved. And I'm glad we did. Take a look at what has been going on around here for the past 3 days now:



In the mornings, I have to transfer the Beta from his tank into his "holding bowl." Then brown-eyes commences to carry him around EVERYWHERE!

Hello Brown Eyes!!!.... Be still my heart!... Could he BE any sweeter?!

He has named the fish, "Smoothie" by the way. And "Smoothie, sure is a good fish!"

He eats with us at breakfast, lunch and dinner. I can't tell you how pleasant it is to have a fish join in on the dinner conversation! Mostly the conversations go like this...

Brown-eyes: "Do you love the fish?"

Everyone: "Yes, we love the fish!"

Brown-eyes: "Smoothie sure is a good fish!"

Everyone: (Nodding enthusiastically) "Yes! He sure is!"

Brown-eyes: "Do you love Smoothie?"

Everyone: "Yes, we LOVE Smoothie!!!"

Brown- eyes: "Yep! He sure is a good fish!!!"

Repeat, repeat, improvise, repeat....

But Smoothie is not just a dinner companion, Ohhhh NOOOO! He likes to watch television as well. So far, his favorite shows are Blues Clues and Backyardigans. Yep, Smoothie just loves Nick Jr!

Sometimes, Smoothie likes to join brown-eyes in a snack. His favorite...M&M's (of course).

Maybe because the colors are so much like Smoothie's own colors?

Then, at the end of the day; it's time for beddy-bye. We transfer Smoothie back into his tank. We turn on his nightlight, and he gets some much needed rest. (All that traveling around can sure wear a fish out!) I bet he's seen more in the past 3 days than he ever did during his ENTIRE life at Petco. And I GUARANTEE he's experienced more love in the past 3 days than during ANY other time in his life! Yep, Smoothie sure is a good fish! And we sure do love him!!!

Ice Cream...I Scream!!!

I went grocery shopping Saturday morning. We had a lot planned for the day, so I hurried through the store. Got everything we needed, paid, loaded it up, and was out in less than an hour. I never gave another thought about my purchases until last night, when I "made dessert." I got out the cones and ice cream and hollered "who wants ice cream?!" As I opened the box, I screamed again. Notice anything strange about these cones.....anything?....anything at all?

Apparently, this is the cone of choice for serving up ice cream to little pixie fairies, weeble wobbles, or fisher price play people.

I wonder, WHY would you even make cones this small?! I know they don't look that small in the package, but LOOK....

Okay, so I know my hands are freakishly large man hands....but STILL!

In the words of Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler..."Really?!! REALLY?!!" You have no idea how hard it was to serve up ice cream in these little babies without cracking the cone....or my skull. But I was NOT going to let a little thing like cones (or just plain little cones) ruin our family dessert.

While some found it amusing to eat such little cones....let alone soooo many cones at one setting....OTHER folks....Well, they wondered:

"YOU are responsible for my food, safety, education and making sure I become a well adjusted adult....REALLY?!!!"

True Love Indeed

I think I might have mentioned in passing that I'm rather fond of Krispy Kreme. Okay, I might have even wrote a love poem while under the sugary, frosted, sweet influence of the afore mentioned Krispy Kreme. So let's just suppose for a moment that I love, love, love the Krispy Kreme Doughnut. (Guilty as charged.) And let's just say, I didn't think Krispy Kreme could get any better. Boy was I wrong!!! I may have loved Krispy Kreme before, but now...well, let's just say that they have my love and undying admiration! They took something so wonderful and made it absolutely perfect! When I awoke this morning, Ricardo had breakfast waiting for his family. (He's such a great hunter/gatherer!!) Look at our lovely breakfast surprise:

Could they BE any cuter?!!!?!!! I think not! I laughed out loud! I was giddy with excitement! They were ALMOST too cute to eat...but just almost. I don't know who thought of this idea, but they deserve a Nobel Prize; or at minimum, a substantial raise! HA! A doughnut raise...get it doughnuts, raise....oh never mind. ( You'll have to forgive me, I'm still experiencing the effects of my sugar, chocolate fix.) I'm so in love with this little heart shaped delicacy. This little sweet perfection in a box.

Alas, they don't make the heart shaped doughnut everyday.....only on Valentine's Day. This saddens me more than just a little. But as you can see from above...I've experienced heart break before. :)

Ima Jo King-Special V.D.Edition

Welcome to Friday everyone! How has the week been treating you? Speaking of treating people, many of you may not know that I'm a marriage counsler. Yessirree Bobbie! I finally saved up enough cereal boxtops to mail in one day and get my certificate. Trust me, some married people are real Fruit Loops; while other couples have so much chemistry they snap, crackle, and pop. That's how I met Stacy and her husband Ricardo you know. They're patients of mine as well as friends....oh the (2) scoop(s) I could dish on them. ha!! But I won't...wouldn't be ethical....unless I changed their names first. (wink, wink)

Anyhoo... I was thinking to myself, "Valentines Day is tomorrow. Ima, you should really do a posting about love." Then I thought, "What do I know about love- I deal with married couples!!" Hee -hee! (Oh I got a million more where that came from!) Instead, here are some excerpts from some of my patients sessions. I took out all the names so I won't have Kelloggs "raisin" hell, calling me a "flake" and wanting their certificate back. :)

Remember as you read these excerpts, that marriage is just like a bran cereal. Somedays it'll be bland and hard to choke down, and then there will always be some sh*% that follows...but that's regular..... er, wait.... never mind that analogy.

What I mean to say is, marriage is like saying there is no other person I would rather fight with. And here are some of the fights I've had to referee...

***********
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said,
"Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And then the fight started....
********
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me'
And she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social Security office!
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten Disability, too'
And then the fight started.....
****
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and
whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'
And that's how the fight started ..
****
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at
a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'she's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started.....
****
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
order first.
'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And then the fight started.....
****
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me
a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's darn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.....


Have a great weekend everyone!!! If you need advice on marriage...or about love (wink, wink) let me know. I'm certifiable...I mean, I've got a certificate that enables me to serve up some wholesome advice (alongside 17 vitamins and minerals). In the meantime, remember...

If you can't be a good example...be a horrible warning to others!!!

Ima Jo King
Marriage Counselor/Cereal Consumer

Past 8 days just FLU by

Sorry the posts have been irregular this past week. The flu has invaded our humble home. First Blue-eyes, then brown eyes got struck. It's a particularly nasty little bug. This one has a real attitude indeed. First it hits your tummy, then it migrates south. UGH!

Needless to say, everything has been a little out of sync. No regular eating times, sleep times, school time, etc. Today is the first day in 8 days that we have even been out of the house. It felt absolutely wonderful!!!! So thankful the boys are doing well again! As any mom will tell you, there is nothing worse than your little ones being sick!

I am now trying to play catch-up once again on household chores, etc...I'm a little swamped at the moment. I will be back to regular posts next week. That is a promise...or threat depending on whether you like my blog or not. ha!

Luckily, Ima has been kind enough to volunteer to blog for me this Friday. (She's such a dear!) So please check back then, as I'm sure she will have something interesting to talk about-she always does!!

Have a great week everyone!!! Take care of you...watch out for the flu!

A Boy and his Dog...

I know I'm totally biased, so I'll just ask you.....
Could this moment BE any cuter??!!!

Ima on Vacation

*The following is an Ima Jo King posting. It does not necessarily reflect the opinions of Stacy D. Briefing or any of her affiliates.

*The following post is rated PG 17. If you are under 17 do not read the following post.


*The following post is intended for those with a sense of humor. If you are easily offended, or prudish in nature...this is not the post for you.

**If however, you have had a rough week, are in need of a laugh, enjoy tongue in cheek humor, and long to find one individual whom you are indeed morally superior to...this is indeed the posting for you!!! Enjoy!



Howdy!!! Did you miss me last week? Absense makes the heart grow fonder you know. "Ima" gonna make you love me yet...just you wait and see! So last week, you may have wondered, "Where in the world is Ima?!" Well, let me tell you. I was on vacation. Shoot! I'm filling in for Stacy almost every Friday, I deserve a break now and then. Want to know where I went? What a vacation spot this was! Although, trust me...DO NOT DRINK THE WATER!!!



Many of you may think that a vacation spot like Dick Lick Springs wouldn't have fine dining cuisine. Well now, you would be wrong. Check out the local hot spot:

I'd never tried sushi before. But posted in the window it said "For a most memorable experience, fuk mi!" If you know Ima, you know I'm all about memorable experiences!

I was also lucky enough to get in a little fishing while on vacation. You know the old saying, a bad day of fishing is better than a good day at work (or blogging). I was lucky enough to find this local shop by the lake:

Wonder if they supply the seafood for the sushi place? I certainly hope not! Fuk-mi and Master-Baiter have no business doing business with each other...or do they?! I'm confused.

When in Dick Lick Springs, I highly recommend this local inn! It really hit the spot...

I didn't stay long. Just a one night stand so to speak; but I'll always remember Big Dicks fondly. In fact, if anyone should ever ask me, I'll tell them: "For a satisfying experience, try Big Dicks Halfway Inn! . Locals told me it's mostly repeat customers. They should put that on the brochure! "Big Dicks Halfway Inn where folks come again and again!"Maybe I should call and suggest it?!

Hope you enjoyed these vacation photos! I really gotta travel this beautiful country of ours more often. Hey! If you have a vacation spot you recommend, let me know. Maybe I'll blog about it in the future. Til then...Remember! If you can't be a good example, be a horrible warning to others!

Yours Truly,

Ima Jo King

Ir-RATional...I think not!

I might have mentioned previously (in passing) that I have issues. Just a few, small, insignificant in the scope of life, issues. I'm claustrophobic, I'm scared of heights, grease mixed with open flames makes me sweat profusely and hyperventilate. But none of these alone is anything major. And all of these things together don't even begin to equal my top three issues:













1. Rodents






2. Rodents






3. Did I mention RODENTS?!!!













I'm not joking. The issue is so all consuming that LEGALLY it has to take the top three spots on my issues list. There is too much fear to fit in one single numerical space alone. At least that is what the courts ruled. Judge Herrnot N. Saine said so herself before she banged her gavel. So, I rest my case.













That being said, I must disclose something very troubling. Very troubling indeed! There was a RAT outside in my backyard today. It was along side the storage building, by the fence line, which borders my garden. This alarms me on so many different levels I find it hard to put it into words.....but I will!













I went outside at lunchtime to La Poopa Scoop. (Well, not during my lunchtime. That would be disgusting. And not conducive to eating at all. Although it might aide in the continued weight loss...but I digress.) What I mean to say is that while Ricardo was home for his lunch hour, I stepped outside to complete this lovely daily task. When I went towards the side of the storage building where I keep the L.P.S. tools, I saw a shadow. A rather large shadow. It moved. I looked down and there it was. A RAT the size of a small Chihuahua in my yard! It had scurried under the fence between our yard and our neighbors. It was running towards our storage building.













I froze. My fear (you know, the legally all consuming one...) is so great, that if I see a rodent I just about lose all bodily function. My body goes boneless. I can't even whimper. I just stand there with clammy hands and try to become invisible. (You know like "Burt" off of the old 70's show "SOAP". Except I don't snap my fingers like he did...that would require movement....but again I digress.) And sometimes...a little bit of piddle almost comes out!...but just almost.













Anyway...While I was standing there, being invisible, trying to remember to breathe, this RODENT the size of a badger stopped running. He paused and LOOKED RIGHT AT ME!!! And I promise you he raised one eyebrow!!!! HE DID!!! As if to challenge me!!! I swear to you he was saying: "Care to dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?!" No, I'm serious! This was one brazen bad gluteous maximus rat!!! What is even more disturbing (as if it could get anymore disturbing!)...is it was DAYLIGHT! Rodents are SUPPOSED to be nocturnal animals, pests, rodents...whatever!!! But this one isn't!!! Do you see my point?! It is either one ballzy rodent, OR it is rabid....OR both!!! Then, after starring me into submission, it went under our storage building. (And trust me, we are not getting any rent money; so it better not be living there!!!)













After it disappeared, (and my bones inhabited my body once more) I went to get Ricardo. I walked backwards as quickly as I could into the house. . .NEVER turn your back on a rabid rodent with Napoleon syndrome!!! Anyway, Ricardo came out. He too saw the rodent in question. He too agreed it is large. Maye the size of a pot bellied pig. Then he proceeded to calmly walk back into the house and eat lunch. He left me out there to L.P.S by myself! Do you even believe it?!!! (Okay, so all the dogs were out there with me...) But still, that rodent could have run out, jumped on anyone of us, ripped out our jugular vein and killed us before anyone even noticed! I was so freakin' nervous. Here I am Poop Scoopin and I'm scared sh*%less! (Alanis Morrisette would have appreciated the irony I bet!)













In an ideal world there would be no rodents. But this isn't an ideal world. I must be RATional. We can't have a cat. (Blue eyes has allergies.) I would be fine with hiring a wild outdoor cat, but how do you make them stay in your yard until the job is done? And what kind of cat do you hire to kill a rodent that is the size of a small water buffalo...a cougar perhaps?! I WANT to move. But that isn't RATional according to Ricardo. And I guess he's right. You can't run away from this situation....although it is tempting. But I figure I would be winded before I ran very far anyway. Ricardo said he will buy a trap tonight. But rat traps are large. You worry about traps and other unsuspecting animals . So we reached a compromise. We are going to buy several of those stickey traps.













I hope they work. I hope we get the mutant rat bastard!!! And I'm going to leave his evil, arched browed, gigantic rotting carcus out there to serve as a warning for any other rodent who even THINKS of crossing over onto our property! Because I CANNOT live in fear of going out into my own yard, in broad daylight...THAT would be one issue to many...even for me!!!

Sal Mo Nella Gets Poetic...

Sidlined by Salmonella.
Heard it can kill a fella.

Missed the big company dinner
Husband wishes he'd married a winner.


GI tract still "iffy."
Wish I was feelin' spiffy.


Losing 5 lbs in a week,
Is not for the meek.


Think I may have lost brain cells.
Then again, how can one tell?!


Still under the weather.
But I'm feeling better.


Share this lesson with each other.
Stay away from the peanut butter.

And though it may sound trivial,
Remember! Keep your sense of humor... it's critical!!!