3 Prefixes I can do without...

I had my hair done on Saturday. (Love it!!!) While the color was processing my stylist left to run an errand. As I sat there with eyes closed in relaxation mode, I heard a snippet of a conversation from the stylist and client next to me.

Client: Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Stylist: Yes. I have one brother and one 1/2 brother.

The comment has stuck with me for the past 48 hours. I'm not judging his comment. I'm just curious as to why he feels the need to specify. I really wished I could have gotten him alone for a moment and asked. Why? Do you think your heritage is more important, or less? Do you not like your other brother so you feel the need to qualify it with the 1/2 prefix? Or have you been raised with that prefix, so it comes naturally to you?

I hear it often. "Step sibling." "Half sibling" "Adopted Child." I really would like for someone to answer the question "Why?" Why do you feel the need to specify the exact nature of your relationship?

I guess I'm more than merely curious, I'm a part of the equation. I myself am a "half." A "non biological." It bothers me. Immensely. I was raised with the comment of not "really" being someone's daughter. It would come at me from out of the blue. I would be in public and be introduced as "Stacy so and so." Then came the qualifier: "You know she's not really his, she's REALLY so and so's daughter." Really??? Really?!!!

I even heard it from my own mother more than once. Whenever it was convenient for her, (like after they divorced and I repeatedly asked to go live with my Dad after she remarried) she made sure that I knew "He's not even your REAL father!" Really??? Really??!!!

Another example, my middle sister (upon getting angry with me one day) announcing, "You're not even my real sister! Your just my 1/2 sister!" Really??? Really???

I don't consider my sisters, "half sisters." I never have. I never will. I don't "gel well" with aforementioned middle sister. But, I would never consider her my 1/2 sister. She is my sister plain and simple. If in need, I would still give her an organ, etc. As for my youngest sister? I know for a fact that she doesn't qualify me as a half sister. Nor do I condsider her anything other than my sister. Unless I were to say she is also my friend.

I just think that life is hard enough without adding monikers that aren't necessary. Or necessarily kind. Everyone wants to fit in. To be a part of a whole. It doesn't matter "half" "step" "adopted" "biological". What matters is love. If you put time, effort and love into raising a child, they're yours. End of story. Think about someone else's feelings before you apply a prefix to someone's situation. And if you need to qualify that someone is a "half, adopted, or step" than perhaps you should look deeply inside yourself and ask why exactly that is. Maybe there is something lacking in YOU not the other way around.

I admire Jada Pinkett Smith for coining the term "bonus child." She gets it. She truly understands. There really shouldn't be any step, half or adopted...only bonus. I feel so blessed and so grateful for my family. My Dad, my sister. My wonderful husband and sons. I also feel blessed to have "bonus" family in my life. People that don't have DNA that matches mine, but who the word friend just doesn't seem adequate enough. People who love and care for me as much as I do them. People who accept. People go to the mat for each other time and time again.

So lets do away with half, step and adopted. Let's add words like bonus family, chosen family, etc. It might just make a huge difference to someone. It would also be the start of making the world a much kinder, more accepting place.